“I’ve never met a Feminist…”

Last Friday night I was at a Christmas fete and someone asked me what I do with my life. This is a short recap of the conversation that ensued.

(Disclaimer: I was a little intoxicated and not at my most articulate, however this is also when I tend to FEEL most articulate.)

Lovely self-identified male human: What do you do?

My most articulate self: I’m doing a masters in Gender and Development

LSIMH: What is gender?

MMAS: *realizing I was not currently articulate enough to dive into the depths of defining gender studies* In short, I am a feminist.

LSIMH: I’ve never met a feminist.

MMAS: You probably have. You probably are one.

LSIMH: *Looks at me skeptically*

And so the conversation went on and I proceeded to explain that…

…being a feminist simply means that you believe in equality not just for women but for any and all humans who are otherwise oppressed or denied privilege/citizenship/space to exist due to whatever forces (mostly patriarchal) exist in their worlds…

…obviously this took around five to ten minutes to explain in entirety BUT this LOVELY self identified male human did understand my explanation completely.

And that felt great.

But retrospectively, here’s what sucked;

“I’ve never met a feminist.” 

We all know why a lot of people – including actual practicing feminists – are terrified of the label ‘Feminist’ and people who identify as feminists.

As the LSIMF asked me; no we don’t all burn bras, yes some of us are sexually attracted to men, and YES of COURSE we support and fight for the rights of men who are oppressed by the same patriarchy that oppresses us all.

By now, correct me if I’m wrong, most of us know that all feminists are not the extremists or radicals who made such a mark in historic media that people paint all feminists with the same brush.

(Seriously, correct me if I’m wrong in the comments because sometimes I worry that I live in a bubble of wonderfully open-minded persons)

So since most of us know this, and since it only takes five to ten minutes to explain to those who may not have heard the feminist news, can we stop being so worried about scaring away the public and just HAVE these fem-versations?

I think most people are ready to hear us now.

And if they are ready to hear us, they may be ready to claim it with us too.

 

 

 

[Banner Image from Ms. Foundation for Women]

Letter to My Young Woman Sister

I can’t call you little anymore because you’re not. You never were. You were always wise.

I hope these words resonate with you as you grow, and I hope you carry them forward.

Sometimes in our teenage years we underestimate our own wisdom, but you carry the experiences of the sisters before you, your mother, and your ancestors wherever you go. Call on this wisdom often.

When you feel like you’re own power is limited, remember you carry the power of many. Stand tall.

Sometimes those jeans ain’t gon fit those curves of yours. That’s fine…those jeans weren’t made for perfection.

Don’t let them define you as exotic because your melanin shines with all its rightful glory. Continue to be exquisite instead, and be exotic on your own terms.

Learning how to love and be loved is just as important now as it will always be.
In learning to love and be loved, be gentle and careful with yourself.

Be patient, don’t rush.
Set boundaries.
Do not let them be crossed. Ever.

Love fiercely, and protect yourself ferociously. 

Love aside, friends aside, family aside,

You are your own priority.

Focus on you. Focus on perfecting the Queen you have always been. But be careful while doing this, because Queens are never selfish.

Don’t live in pre-defined terms. Be thoughtful and inquisitive. Set your own terms. Live in your own truth.

They will tell you there are so many things you can do to lose your worth. They lie. You can never lose your worth.

You are ALWAYS worth it.
You are ALWAYS loved.
You are ALWAYS a Queen.

You are always a Queen.

You are all my Sisters.

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Book Club

My sisters and I, who span the world across continents, have decided to start a travelling book club. The idea sprang from our mutual love for literature…specifically literature written by women of colour. For so long we’ve been writing raving reviews in our WhatsApp group chat about the books we read and how we wish we could share them.

It finally hit me…book club by mail. Wherein we read literature, write some comments and mark some favourite parts before mailing the books on to the next person, until they make their way back home. Around the same time, my sister-in-law and I also decided to swap some books utilizing the suitcases of family who travel between Trinidad and Canada. Every one of us is so excited at the prospect that we’ve become motivated to read more in order to share more.

What is it about The Sisterhood of the Travelling Book Club that has us all excited? It’s exactly what has women of colour all over the globe so excited and eager to unite and share our wisdom.

We, Women of Colour, are finding our Colourful voices.

Nayyirah Waheed
Rupi Kaur
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Ijeoma Umebinyuo
Maya Angelou
Yrsa Daley-Ward
Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Ahrundhati Roy
Yaa Gyasi
Audre Lorde

These are only some of the names of the women who’s work is inspiring us, who’s voices inspire us to mold our own.

As we explore our own voices, listen to others, relate across similarities, differences, boundaries, and a mutual desire for unity and freedom, I hope we never forget to add our own writing to the compilation which can inspire future generations of women.

“we all move forward when we recognize how resilient and striking the women around us are”

– Rupi Kaur.

Doubles with Slight

I love doubles. We all love doubles. For my non-local readers, if you haven’t had doubles yet, find some. It’s my intention for my conversations to be your weekly dose of doubles
…with slight.
I try not to have doubles more than once a week, though some weeks my appetite for doubles, and writing, is bigger than others.

Why doubles with slight? Because ordering a doubles with slight is pretty much as unpredictable as a three year old who has just consumed an entire tube of M&M minis (yes, I have a three year old with a serious M&M addiction). As we’ve all experienced, ordering a doubles with slight means you end up eating a doubles somewhere between slight and probably ALL the pepper the doubles vendor had in that bucket somehow crammed into your two barra. Regardless of the level of slight you are gifted with, it’s always a great experience.

I hope that is what my blog will be. Some days will be heavier than others, and some days things will be mild and lovely.

Either way, I will strive for it to always be enjoyable, and I promise it will go down well with an Apple J, or a cup of tea if you find that more appropriate for reading purposes.

Love,

Your friendly feminist doubles woman.